I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining examples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the first time in an extended while, I don’t feel alone.
Section of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was the thought that I could be this for the wrong reason; as an easy way to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to share was not yet clear during those times; only on the drive away made it happen coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, acim teacher “I never should have told you, never should have allow you to see inside. Don’t are interested troubling the mind, won’t you let it be?” This confused me as I could not think of whatever I had stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t are interested troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I had in coming to the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere using its residents’satisfaction, simply by my presence alone. This belief that I could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness soon after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief will be (has been?) released.
You can find other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.